Two Things to Teach a Child
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Copyright © 2005 James L. Melton
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My wife, Angela, gave birth to our first child in 1995. A second was born in 1998, a third in 2001, a fourth in 2003, and a fifth child is due in May, 2005. With our first two children, everyone was happy for us. “Are you going to stop now?” was a common question when the third child was born. With the fourth child, folks generally thought we might be losing our minds, and they “knew” we were when we announced that a fifth child was on the way. Although we know people who have more than five children, we have no close relatives or close friends that do, so we tend to stand out as being very peculiar in our “neck of the woods.”
Over and over again we hear the same negativism flowing from the mouths of other parents: “There’s a cure for that, you know . . . Oh, you poor woman . . . We’ll, that’s obviously James’ idea . . .” and other remarks that reveal the real attitude that most parents have toward children. The general attitude seems to be that children are basically a burden and that anyone would have to be crazy to want more than one or two of them.
As I look around and observe the conduct of most children and the weak relationships that their parents have with them, I can see why people feel that they are a burden, but this was never God’s plan. Psalm 127:3-5 says, “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.” God doesn’t speak of children as a burden, but rather a blessing. He says blessed is the man that has his quiver full of them! Evidently, God knows some things about children that most parents do not know.
The key is found in Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Most parents do not view their children as servants that must be trained for a life of service to God. Parents today think of their children as little play things to wind up and turn loose on the world’s playground. While they’re young, they play with young children. When they become teens, they can run with the other teens. After they’ve become adults, they can run and play with other adults. Life is basically perceived as a big playground where everyone plays with their favorite toys. Yes, they must work and pay bills, but only so they can have more toys. There’s no high calling in their lives, no deeper meaning, no real purpose for which one must train. Because of this lack of purpose, parents feel no real need to train their children for anything. They’ll just grow up and live in the playground of life like everyone else, and that requires no training.
The serious Christian parent has a higher standard. The godly father and mother knows that God expects us to prepare our children for a life of service to Him. The world is a battlefield, not a playground, and we must train our children to be good and faithful soldiers of the Lord Jesus Christ. Many parents want to do this, but they know not where to start. One of the saddest sights I see is new Christian parents who choose to follow the sorry examples of worldly parents instead of seeking counsel from some wise and experienced parents.
My children are not grown yet, so I’ll not write a book on the subject for some time, if ever, but I do have two pieces of advice that will help any parent who is serious about training up some godly children. Over and over my wife and I see parents who desperately need this advice, yet we feel that it isn’t proper to offer our opinion when no one has asked for it. So we just keep our thoughts to ourselves and watch countless parents ruin their children.
This isn’t to say that we are perfect parents, nor do we believe that we have perfect children, but there are some very obvious mistakes that many of today’s parents are making, and we feel some obligation to at least offer some help to anyone who desires to have it.
Most parents know what they want from their children, but they do not know how to get it. They want a child who will obey them on their first command. They want a child who will not throw fits, especially not in public. They want a child who will play well with other children without being selfish and fussy. Parents seem to think that getting their children to behave a certain way should be automatic, and they become very frustrated when they discover that it isn’t.
Mom, dad, do you want results? Are you tired of being driven half out of your mind by unruly children? Are you tired of being embarrassed by their conduct? Are you tired of having your life dominated by your children? I have two gold nuggets for you, if you’re ready to get serious. There are two great truths that I have learned personally about child-training over the years. My wife and I learned these principles early on, and we have never forsaken them. As a result, we are very happy with our children, we enjoy them immensely, we’re never afraid to take them anywhere, and the thought of having more children does not frighten us. There are two tremendous truths that we endeavor to teach our children. Everything else can be taught rather easily in its own time as long as these two truths are taught and understood first. These truths are very fundamental. In fact, both truths combined make up only ten words, five words each.
But there’s a catch. These two truths are not taught by words. They are taught consistently, every singe day, by example. Actions have always spoken louder than words, and it is your actions that must teach these truths—consistent, daily, actions.
Truth Number One
The first truth that we have always taught our children is a very stubborn one, yet very effective: YOU CAN NEVER BEAT US. Our children know not to resist us because they’ve known for a long time that they cannot win. We’ve never SAID to them, “You can never beat us,” but we have gotten this message across thousands of times by consistent action. Every time one of our children has risen against us, they have lost the battle. After a while, they’ve all grown tired of losing and have decided to join us. This has happened with each of our children between 12 and 24 months of age.
This concerns a war of the will. Yes, children can be strong-willed, but no child should have a stronger will than his parents. Most parents do not realize that they are “at war” with the devil for the heart of their child. “He’s just being a child,” they say, while failing to consistently deal with inappropriate behavior. Notice that consistence has been mentioned more than once in this tract. Today’s parents are 4/5 parents or 3/5 parents, and some are even 2/5, 1/5 parents, or even 0/5 parents. That is, they have taught their children (by poor example) that misbehavior will only be properly dealt with four times out of five, three times out of five, or even less. The child knows that he will not be defeated 100% of the time, so he goes ahead and “takes his chances.” As the years roll by, he learns when his chances are the best: in church services, in public, when company comes over, when dad is too tired to care, when mom is on the phone, while visiting the grandparents, etc.
The wise parent will NEVER allow a child to win, not once. There is no logical reason why a forty pound child should defeat a parent outweighing him by over a hundred pounds! The parent simply chooses to let the child win. He or she might say, “I just can’t do anything with him,” but the truth is that they won’t do anything with him. The parent has chosen to surrender to the child’s will. If you are to train up a proper child, he must understand that YOU are bigger, stronger, wiser, and far more determined than he. He must constantly hear the voice of active parental example saying to his heart, “YOU CAN NEVER BEAT US.” Only then will the child hand over his heart and truly submit to the authority of the parent. When he does so, he will do so gladly, and the parent/child relationship will be a joyous one for all.
Truth Number Two
Truth number one should never be “gotten across” to the child unless truth number two is to follow. Truth number one is a tough truth, but truth number two adds to it the perfect balance.
As a Christian, I realize that I can never defeat my heavenly Father, yet that doesn’t frustrate me because I know my heavenly Father can always be trusted to do the right thing. Every word of God is pure; He is the all-wise Counselor. Never once has God given anyone a piece of bad advice, so millions have grown to trust Him with their lives. They aren’t miserable slaves under the whip of a brutal master, but rather willing and obedient children of a good and loving heavenly Father. The Father has succeeded in getting a great truth across to his children: YOU CAN ALWAYS TRUST ME.
That’s the second truth that we must teach our children. Our lives must send the message that it’s okay for them to submit to our wills because we always know and do what is right for our children. My daily example should say to my children, “Son, you can never beat me, but that’s okay because you can always trust me. Every time I have won over your will, it has worked out for your own good, has it not? Have I ever told you wrong, or set an improper example for you? No, I have been a good parent for you. I have labored to walk a straight and narrow path for you to follow. You can’t go wrong by submitting to me and following me because you know very well that I have earned your trust.”
No parent should ever have to SAY that to a child, but the message should be preached by daily example—every single day of the child’s life. When effectively taught, this lesson will cause the child to truly respect the parent as a worthy authority.
Mom, dad, have you earned the trust of your children? You cannot expect them to submit to you when you are not a righteous authority. They’ll know instinctively if there is a flaw in your character, and it will frustrate them and perhaps even provoke them to wrath (Eph. 6:4). A sinful parent who forces his children into submission will not have a happy family. He might have an orderly and obedient family, much like a military camp, but joy will not rule the home. If you would have your children gladly submit to you, then you must gladly submit to God. Only then can you successfully apply the counsel in this tract and truly enjoy your God-given family.
Friend, your child must learn two things from you: YOU CAN NEVER BEAT ME and YOU CAN ALWAYS TRUST ME. If you have failed at either of these lessons, then you are failing as a good parent and the future will bring unnecessary sorrow for you and your family. I’m sorry if these words are hurtful, but a little hurt now is better than a lot of hurt later. Remember, Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.”
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Satan’s Ten Commandments for Parents
Letter Size Tract, Tri-fold
Copyright © 2002 James L. Melton
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Thou shalt not take thy children to a Bible-believing church
That’s right, the last thing I need is a generation of children who learn to believe and obey God’s word! Take your sons and daughters to a big and liberal church where there are scores of fun activities to waste their time and rob them of any chance to really learn the Bible. Don’t take them to an old-fashioned and fundamental church where the King James Bible is believed, preached and taught.
Thou shalt not teach thy children to know and serve Jesus Christ
I’ll never populate Hell if you allow your children to see their lost condition and their need to have their sins washed away in the blood of Jesus Christ! Let them wait until they are older so they can decide for themselves what to believe. By then, I’ll have them so brainwashed they’ll never be saved. Tell them when to get up, when to take a bath, what to eat, when to be home and when to go to bed, but don’t tell them what to believe about God, the Bible, and Jesus Christ.
Thou shalt not spank thy children
I want to produce a whole generation of self-serving rebels who are not disciplined and who do not respect any moral authority-- including God. When this happens, I will rule the world and damn billions to Hell forever! I need YOUR help! DON’T spank that child!
Thou shalt enroll thy children in a day care center
Mom, don’t even think of staying home to train up your children! Sure, the Bible commands women to be “keepers at home,” but who believes the Bible these days? Your family can’t make it on a single income. Get yourself a job and let my specially trained day care agents start working on your children. You make the babies and let me handle the rest.
Thou shalt enroll thy children in the public school system
Don’t even think of home schooling or a private school. You just trust me to educate your children the way I think best. The public school system is packed full of my agents. We’ve already thrown the Bible, the Ten Commandments and prayer out of the schools. Now we’re having the time of our life! We’ll teach your kids that they have evolved from animals so they’ll feel no obligation to honor and obey their true Creator. Then we’ll let them dress any way they choose while teaching them all about sex. We’ll even have a few dances each year so they can rub their bodies together while listening and dancing to the most ungodly music the world has ever known. With a little luck, your kids will have their own kids before finishing high school, which just means more day care prospects for me! Don’t you just love my system?!!!!
Thou shalt allow thy children to walk, talk, dress and act like all other children
You wouldn’t want you child to feel strange or different from other kids, would you? Of course you wouldn’t! You want your child to grow up to fit into the world, to feel accepted and normal in society. That’s exactly what I want! I want everyone to just fit in with society - to conform to the trends and fashions of the day. I have the majority of the earth’s population marching right into Hell without even knowing it. Don’t ask questions about your children’s conduct, their styles, and their trends. Just accept it as “the latest thing” and let me direct their footsteps. I know just where they need to be and I know just how to get them there!
Thou shalt teach thy children to worship sports
Ah, yes! Let’s not forget that one! Let’s keep that child’s mind occupied all the time lest they start thinking and asking questions about God, the Bible and Jesus Christ! I want them playing baseball, softball, basketball, football, ballet, swimming, track, gymnastics, and everything else you can find. In addition to this, buy them shoes and clothing endorsed by famous sports figures and take them to every sporting event possible. With a little effort, you can waste at least ten or fifteen hours every week! Hopefully, by the time they’re grown they’ll be reading the sports page and watching the sports channel every day while never reading the Bible.
Thou shalt provide thy children with unrestricted entertainment
Don’t deprive your kids of all the things that other kids enjoy, such as Internet access, their choice magazines, video games, television and movies. These are perfect mediums by which I am reaching millions of young people every day. They’re listening to my music, looking at my pictures, and applying my self destructive principles in their lives. It’s amazing how willing parents are to turn their kids over to me, but they’re certainly doing it. So please don’t ask questions or investigate the choice entertainment of your sons and daughters.
Thou shalt permit thy sons and daughters to start dating by the age of sixteen
Preferably before then, like maybe thirteen or fourteen, but certainly no later than sixteen! Other teenagers date, so why shouldn’t your teens date? Other teenagers experiment with sex, drugs and alcohol, so why shouldn’t your teens do likewise? You think, “Oh, my teen wouldn’t do anything like that!” Yeah, right! I’m so glad you foolish parents have such short memories! I’m so glad you’ve forgotten your teenage years! One of my greatest assets in ruining your child is your belief that your child is different and wouldn’t do any wrong. You make my job so easy - and fun!
Thou shalt not receive counsel from any Christian
When you encounter a Christian who has exceptionally well behaved children, you will be tempted to seek advice from them on raising your own children. DON’T! These people are religious nuts. They believing in training up children GOD’S WAY, which is the old-fashioned way. This is the twenty-first century, a new age with a new way of life. Away with God and the Bible! Away with Jesus and fundamental churches! Live like you want to live! After all, you only live once, and then you’ll be in Hell forever - along with your kids! Just fear me and keep MY commandments, and we’ll all be together one day - sooner than you may think!
Yours Truly . . . . . Lucifer
God’s Way
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Eph. 6:4)
According to the Bible, children are to be TRAINED in the ways of God, not in the ways of men. Human traditions and philosophies are irrelevant. Every parent will be accountable to God for seeing to it that their children are TRAINED in righteousness.
Friend, you’ve seen Satan’s way, and it is evident throughout our society that his way is the way of sin, misery, danger, destruction and death. God has a much better way. Jesus said, “. . . I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6) Acts 4:12 says, “Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved."
The Lord Jesus Christ has come and PAID for your sins by shedding His own Blood on Calvary. By receiving Him as your Saviour, you can be WASHED from all your sins in His precious Blood (Rev. 1:5; Col. 1:14; Acts 20:28; I Pet. 1:18-19). Notice these important words from Romans 5:8-9: "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him."
Jesus PAID your way to Heaven for you! By receiving Him as your Saviour, you will be receiving God's ONLY means of Salvation. Are you willing to forsake YOUR righteousness and receive Jesus Christ as your Saviour, your ONLY HOPE for Salvation? Romans 10:13 says, "Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." Romans 10:9 says, "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." Are you willing to forsake your own righteousness, and trust Jesus Christ alone? He will save you just as He promised. Why not receive Him today and trust Him to give you a better way of life?
How can you be a proper parent for your children if you aren’t a true Christian? Why not receive Jesus Christ today and start applying Biblical principles in the training of your children?
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